Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I'm baaaacccckkkk!

It has been quite a while since I've posted on this blog! I keep forgetting to do it, or I remember at work when I'm way too busy. Lunch break right now, so I thought I'd write a bit.

I went up again last week, and down 1 this week. I am not a big fan of the yo-yo, but at least I'm back in the right direction.

My little sister was in town for the weekend to celebrate her birthday. Celebrating with Laura usually involves copious amounts of alcohol. This year was no different! I have been pretty good about sticking to wine when I drink lately, but my parents bought my favourite coolers (Wildberry), so I had a few of them.

I didn't track all weekend either. That is getting to be a problem. I'm not tracking at home. I hereby vow, with you readers as my witnesses, to track what I'm eating wherever I am!! Home or work, doesn't matter. I need to track it!

I've been reading some people's blogs and messages on the GDT about the # of APs they get per week. I think that might be another one of my problems. I get great APs when I have sports, but since hockey season is over and ball doesn't start for a couple of months, I really need to step up!

I bought the Biggest Loser DVD just after Christmas and I've only watched it once! I also got a yoga DVD from a friend, bought a yoga mat, and I only did that one once too! Bad Amanda!!!

I have been so busy with work, homework (Finance homework is time consuming!), planning the 2008 Spring Fling (www.springflingtournament.wordpress.com) and trying to have some sort of life that I have been neglecting the exercise portion of my life. (I'm also part of a ladies Bible study group on Mondays and a small group on Thursdays). I hardly have time to sleep!

No more excuses though. I need to get going. This is my life I'm trying to change here! No one can do it for me. I have to move more, track more, and pay more attention to my body!

I'm headed to the doctor's office this afternoon. My headaches are pretty constant and I'm in pain quite frequently. I'm going to ask him to do some blood tests and possibly send me for a CT scan to make sure nothing is wrong. I have been going to physio, chiropractor and a massage therapist since January, but not much is changing, except that I am stubbornly working through the headaches more now than I have in the past. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm laying here in bed tonight with another headache. I am so tired of headaches! My left hand has also been going numb. :( Not good things. I've been praying about it, but maybe I need to pray more.

I found a new band online that I've come to really like. They're a heavier Christian rock band called Seventh Day Slumber. I highly recommend checking out their MySpace page! What a great group!

So this week I went up for the first time in my WW journey. Only .6 though, so not too bad. And yet, when I weighed myself on Tuesday (my WI is Sundays) I was actually down 3 lbs! What a difference a couple of days make!

I haven't been nearly as active as I should be. In fact, I haven't earned any extra AP this week and have already used 1/2 of my FP. I am starting to sabotage myself again...I need to step back and figure out why I'm doing that.

I realized the other day that I can't picture myself thin. I cannot get the mental picture of me not fat into my head! I'm planning for it, thinking of the bathing suit I want to wear in Vegas in July, but I still can't see myself in it. I wonder why that is.

Thanks for stopping by!

Amanda

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Its been a while!

Part of my New Year's "resolution" was to blog more frequently. I've completely forgotten about it! I usually blog at work, but it has been insane here! Home isn't much better.

Oh well, I'm here now.

I've been losing consistently for the past 9 weeks and it feels great! Even when I forget to track, I'm conscious of what I'm eating. That's progress for me! Even though I occasionally sabotage myself (see previous entry), I've been very conscious of what's going in my mouth. That's a NSV for me!

Things in my life have been somewhat chaotic and frustrating lately. Work is very busy, as I said. My boss is going through some personal termoil and I'm doing my best to help him by keeping him organized, but I can only do so much...I'm tired!

Outside of work I have been playing hockey a couple of nights a week, which is great! And fun too! I've even scored a couple of goals lately (I'm a defenceman) and I'm pretty proud of that! I also have been trying to finish my psychology class. One more class to go! Unfortunately I have gotten behind because of my stupid headaches! I have 4 tests to write on Monday of next week. I am going to be vigilant this week about sitting down and actually studying with no distractions. No TV! Computer stays off until I type my final notes.

Finally, a very big stressor for me is this charity ball tournament that I'm chairing. We are supposed to be ready to send out letters to get sponsors, invite out of town teams, and come to an agreement with CanadInns regarding discounted rooms and their financial sponsorship of the tournament. So far none of these letters have been sent! After this final push with psychology, I am going to have to sit down for an afternoon and get these letters completed, OK'd by the charity, and mailed out. Time is getting short!

My biggest problem lately has been my back/neck. I have been getting bad headaches and I have trouble sitting at my desk all day. :( I've started physiotherapy and made arrangements with a massage therapist to see her every 2 weeks on her night off (she massages me in her home for 1/2 price). I would hope that this would make a difference, but so far the headaches are worse, not better. This morning my headache woke me up at 5. It actually woke me up. The best way to describe the pain was like there was a lightning storm in my brain! I could feel bolts of pain pierce my head in different areas. This is not normal!

I really need a weekend off to relax and recharge, but I, being the over-achiever I am, has signed up for another class which is on Saturday mornings until the end of April. What was I thinking?!?!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Sabotage

Someone is sabotaging me as best they can. That someone is me.

What is with that?!?! Am I afraid to lose weight? I find myself so hungry and munchy and I just can't say no to myself. WHY??? I know I am doing good for myself finally. I know that I am feeling and (maybe?) seeing changes in myself. So how do I reward myself? I order a damn PIZZA! Huh?

And what is really bothering me is, as I'm eating this crap (and not always recording it, btw), I am saying to myself, "why are you eating this?" "What is so good about this pizza that it is worth sabotaging my losses?" I know what I am doing is hurting me and only me, but I still do it!!!!!!!!

What is wrong with me????

I had joined the 9 day challenge on the General Daily Thread on the WW community, but had to withdraw myself this weekend. Something is very wrong in my back and shoulders so I can't work out to the extent that I'm supposed to in order to stay in the challenge. I can hardly move! I missed work and class yesterday. Not a good thing in either case. I am behind in my classes and there are only a couple left!

I have been procrastinating quite badly with my class too...Altogether I feel like things are falling apart.

At least I got some stuff done for the CCMF tournament in the spring. We have lots to do still, but at least we have a few key things in place now. That's the only thing I have accomplished lately!

I'm off to watch Biggest Loser. Hopefully it will inspire me to get off my ass.

Sorry for the bitching. Needed somewhere to vent...

A

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Its a New Year!!

Happy New Year everyone!

My NYE sucked! I stayed home and still ate far too many chips! I also by-passed the wine (lower points) for coolers! Not good! Bad Amanda!

After reading the message boards on WW today, I decided this would be a good place to record my goals for the year. Not resolutions, mind you!

My goals are:

1. To stop smoking altogether! No excuses! I'm not smoking much now, but I want to stop completely! And I am going to do it this time!

2. Continue to work towards the healthier, happier Amanda by exercising, watching my diet and portions. WW is working for me and I'm not going to allow myself to sabotage me!

3. Get the damn charity tournament organized!!!
Background on this goal: I am chairing a co-ed slo-pitch tournament to be held in May with all of the proceeds going to the CancerCare Manitoba Foundation. If everything went as I had hoped, we would raise $30,000. Right now I am readjusting that goal. I don't believe that it is a feasible goal anymore, especially since the people who have said that they will help aren't helping as much as I had hoped. (Could this be because I am not asking for enough help or giving specific directions?)

4. Save some money! I have a very bad habit of spending what I have instead of saving it for a rainy day! My Canada Savings Bond is being cashed in May for my Vegas trip this summer, so I'll be back to $0 in savings after that! I need to start planning ahead!

5. Learning to cook! I can throw together a few things, but I get frustrated easily, especially with new recipies. I want to learn more/better techniques in the kitchen and experiment more!

6. Planning my meals!! This is huge! I always leave things to the last minute, especially lunches for work. I can do better! I want to plan my meals over the weekend and be ready for each workday with a menu that I have ready! That way all I have to do is look at the menu and throw the food into my lunch bag! Never over points at work again!

If anyone reading this has any suggestions to help me with these goals, I'm all ears!

My year has started off ok. I cleaned and cooked yesterday! 2pt/svg Chilli! Not too bad! Yummy too! I just need to get organized in a few other areas and I'll be set!

Today I signed up for a 9 day challenge (based on Biggest Loser meets Survivor). The challenge was put out on the General Daily Thread and challenges participants to stay OP every day for 9 days. Also we must do an "intense" cardio workout for a minimum of 30 minutes per day every day. I can do that! I bought the Biggest Loser workout DVD this weekend (it has cardio and sculpt) and I will use that every day! I will also be doing yoga and playing floor hockey. My goal is to hit the 220s by the end of the challenge. I CAN DO IT!!!!

Here's to a happy, healthy, and productive, record-setting 2008!!